November 20, 2014
The greatest service I can offer is… not engaging in crimes against myself.
Until today, you may not have realized that you have allowed others to be involved in a crime against you. You may have allowed them to support you in sacrificing yourself and believing that you were helping or serving them.
Just for today, don't be a yes person! Take care of yourself. Don't give what you don't have or what you need. Be self-supportive and self-loving enough to say no.
Today I am devoted to not making unnecessary sacrifices! Today I am willing to say no!
Iyanla Vanzant, Until Today!
For those that know me (and most often attempt to stop me), I am the first one to put myself down. For one, I believe that no one can be as disappointed in me as I could ever be simply because I know how much of a perfectionist I am. Two, I would rather I put myself down than to hear the negative judgment of others, especially if I care what they think of me. This is no way to live. I know this. When others put me down, if I agree, I stay silent. However, if I feel wrongly accused, I will defend myself immediately. Another thing that I tend to do is to do something that I want others to do for me in the hopes that they will naturally return the favor. I don’t expect an exact return yet SOMETHING of reciprocation. Generally when I help others, it’s because I genuinely want to help them. Other times, I'll participate because I know there will be a definite quid pro quo result. I don’t like to say yes to something that is disagreeable but sometimes you have to suck it up and do it (usually for the PayJob). I know when to say no and now more than ever I'm regressing toward my toddler mentality of saying NO to anything I even SLIGHTLY dislike. I’ve said YES for the majority of my life simply to keep the peace yet I would be the last one to see any peace during those times. It’s when I stand my ground and say NO when necessary that I get the desired peaceful resolution. I can support and love anything you do as long as it doesn't diminish me in the process. I know I can only do so much for myself let alone for others. I don’t give away more money than I can afford to live without in the event that I won’t ever get it back. I have to rest and recover before I go back out there and give my all. I can’t take care of anyone if I don't take care of me first. You can call it selfish. I call it self-preservation. When there’s nothing left of me, what can I possibly give to you?
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